


And... Action!

by SgtLeppard



Category: Def Leppard, Forever Knight
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Gag Reels, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:01:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29007981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SgtLeppard/pseuds/SgtLeppard
Summary: "And this is why we don't have acting careers."For a series as dark and dramatic as "Rock of Ages, Forever", the little goofs that come up manage to make everyone's time on set a little brighter.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	1. Who Wrote This? A Serial Killer?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Rock of Ages, Forever](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27960722) by [knight1228](https://archiveofourown.org/users/knight1228/pseuds/knight1228). 



> With knight1228 finally bringing Rock of Ages, Forever to AO3 and my recent discovery of the FK gag reel on YouTube ~~no I didn't break the replay button, I don't know what you're talking about~~ , this idea came to my head and refuses to leave
> 
> A good chunk of the dialogue will come from the original fic itself, but each "gag" will inevitably derail somewhere and one of three things will happen: 1. Extra dialogue will pop up, likely the result of a flubbed or forgotton line; 2. A physical mistake, where someone messes up the choreography for the script [i.e. tripping over a set piece]; 3. A prop fail, since sometimes props break or don't do what they're intended to do
> 
> I highly recommend reading the original fic before popping over here for levity, as this will not be a spoiler-free reel. The explicit rating here is meant to mirror the original as there are sexually explicit scenes present [TW: there are rape scenes; you have been warned], but the rating may go down if these scenes don't make an appearance in this reel. For now, it stays where it is as a precaution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, English. It's a wonder how no one failed it in school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gags from chapter 1

"The humidity here is enough to kill a dead cow," Joe mumbled, wiping sweat from his face.

"Do you think you could have put it more graphic, Joe?" Phil cried, wrinkling his nose at the comment.

Vivian, choosing to ignore the direction the conversation was going, gestured to the envelope in Joe's hands. "Looks like you got another one."

"Yeah, this one doesn't make any more sense than the rest of 'em," Joe answered. "'Soon' is all it--" He stopped, scrutinising the way the word was written. "Who wrote this? A serial killer?"

The break in the line caused Phil and Vivian to begin giggling. Further towards the back of the room, a technician's voice could be heard. "Director said to make it look mysterious!"

"Yeah, but this just looks creepy!"

The director's voice cut in, "Alright, let's try it again from the top."

"Jesus."

\----------

_> Take 1_

"How are you goin' to get a word out of-- no."

_> Take 5_

"How are you--" Giggles erupt. "Dammit."

_> Take 7_

"How are you goin' to get a riddle of-- a riddle out of-- fuck. 'Riddle of words.'"

"One day, you'll learn how to speak."

\----------

 _He won't make it this far,_ Lacey thought. So wrapped up in said thought that she hadn't noticed Sav was right in front of her.

"Hello," he said, Sharpie at the ready.

She blinked a few times to regain her bearings, but suddenly blanked on what to do next, causing the silence to extend for longer than it should have. When it became clear she had forgotten what to do, Sav couldn't help the soft snorts that came out, causing her to begin laughing too.

"Sorry," she giggled.

"You're good, you're good," Sav reassured her as he moved back to the other end of the rail for another take.

\----------

"Action!"

At the cue, Phil approached Sav in the middle of the mingling crowd. "Hey man, how's it going?"

"It could be better," Sav answered, making it look like he was glancing at someone behind his bandmate.

Phil followed his line of sight, then turned back. "Forget it. She's waiting on someone."

"I, uh..." Sav started, then snorted. "I forgot my line."

Laughing, Phil moved back off camera while Sav waved the script supervisor over, meeting her halfway off the set. "Can't believe I forgot."

"It happens," she said, then pointed at the line on the script. "You say, 'I noticed you talking to her. I signed her jacket by the buses earlier. Did she give you her name?'"

"'I noticed you talking to her. I signed her jacket by the buses earlier. Did she give you her name?' Okay, I got it. Thanks." As the supervisor went back to her seat, Sav returned to his spot on the set. "Are we still rolling?" he asked the director.

"Yes."

"Okay."

Once everyone was back in place, the director called action, and Phil walked back on set next to Sav.

"Hey man, how's it going?"

Glancing behind Phil, Sav said, "It could be better."

Phil once again followed his line of sight, then turned back. "Forget it. She's waiting on someone."

Refreshed with the line, Sav spoke, "I noticed you talking to her. I signed her jacket by the buses earlier. Did she give you her name?"

Phil opened his mouth to say his line, but stopped before saying, "No, but now I forgot _my_ line."

Sav burst out in laughter as Phil went to the script supervisor, turning his gaze directly into the camera lens. "And this is why we don't have acting careers."

\----------

"Are you having a good time?"

"Yes, a great time actually."

"You haven't moved from this booth all evening."

Lacey leaned forward, propping her arms on the table. "I don't need--" She faltered. "To-- speak English. Can we try that again?"

Sav wheezed in laughter.

"Again. From 'Are you having a good time?'"

\----------

Joe stood some feet away from the booth Lacey and Sav sat at, not really paying attention to what they were saying. Not like he didn't know what they were saying anyway. He'd brushed up on the script. Part of him briefly wondered how they got talked into making this series, but then he remembered that Sav was the one who initially pitched the idea and had dragged his old friend Nick Knight into it. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he waited for his cue to interrupt. Nick wouldn't be on set for a few more days, citing scheduling issues, but once he was present, they could get down to the meat of the series.

He remembered the first time he'd met the man. Nick was a great bloke, fit in pretty well with everyone. Joe could imagine just how much the set would liven up once Nick arrived. He didn't want to know what kind of shenanigans he and Sav would get up to. _Terror Twins 2.0,_ he thought, smirking to himself. It just sucked that he'd have to act like a sadistic bastard in front of the cameras. He liked Nick.

"I prefer your given name, Richard," he could hear Lacey say, and he shook himself, bringing his attention back to the scene. "Rarely does anyone call you Richard. Everyone uses Sav, so not to confuse you with Rick, but Sav is not as appealing as Richard is, so I will have to settle for Rick."

"Joe."

Cued, Joe walked up to the booth, hoping to time the interruption just right.

"You have me all confused after that," Sav said. "I'll have to remember your--"

Joe reached the booth. _Just in time._ "Who do you have backed into the corner, Sav?"

Sav snorted. "Having several different names can get confusing even for me." The line wasn't in the script, but the ad lib did well in rehearsals, so they kept it. "Lacey Garrett, this is--"

"Mr Elliott," Lacey addressed Joe, extending her hand and smiling. "It is a pleasure meeting you."

He took her hand. "The pleasure is..." He hoped the cameras were catching an uneasy look, but given the smile that was daring to spread unbidden on Lacey's face, he was probably failing in that department.

"I'm sure it is," she responded, the lilt in her voice evident as she tried to hold back laughter.

Sav similarly tried to hold in his laughter while he said his line. "Trying to steal my date, Joe?"

Joe hesitated for a second before the pair broke into giggles. He turned away, similarly breaking character. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

So much for getting that in one take.


	2. I Work With Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ad libs, trip ups, and donuts, oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gags from chapters 2 and 3

"The Pit is not your friendly cup of tea, Mr Elliott," Lacey said, fixing her gaze on the man in question. "They would have you for dinner and spit you out."

"Sounds like fun," Joe leered, levelling his own gaze back at her. _Please don't crack, please don't crack..._

"Fun on their part, but hardly on yours," Lacey stated matter-of-factly, them smirked. "Besides, I'd hate to see that lovely ass of yours hurt."

Sav let out a snort, but soon the forced snort turned into real ones as he desperately tried to hold in his laughter.

"Cut!"

Good timing, as peals of laughter suddenly escaped. "Jesus Christ!" Sav cried, holding his stomach as he fell over in the booth.

Joe looked over at his cackling bassist, chuckling himself, then turned his attention back to Lacey. "Where'd that come from?"

Lacey shrugged. "I figured it sounded better than what was in the script."

"I like that. Can we keep that?" Joe said, turning towards the director.

"We'll keep it."

Joe raised his hand, which Lacey met in a high five. "Yes!"

\----------

_> Take 3_

"It's a beautiful night for a stroll. I've liked the night always-- wait, I said that wrong."

_> Take 8_

"It's a beeeeeeeeeeee." Giggles. "Bee bee bee."

"Bees?" Sav grinned. "All of them?"

Lacey cackled.

_> Take 9_

"It's a beautiful night for a stroll. I've always liked the night. It's hold lots-- damn, I said 'it's'."

\----------

Sav and Lacey walked down the sidewalk towards the exterior that would serve as the vampire bar they were going to. The Capri, as it were, was actually a local restaurant that allowed the film crew to use their exterior for said establishment. Interior scenes would have to be done on a soundstage. For now, the director wanted footage of the pair walking outside while they had the opportunity. Lacey may not be a real vampire, but she was playing one, and that meant nighttime shooting. Good thing the crew had lights of their own. The street lights didn't provide much illumination for the cameras to pick up.

They'd looped around a few times, with different camera angles for each loop. Sav wasn't sure if the director wanted to use these shots with overdubbing so the final shot would have their fictional counterparts talking without actually being seen talking. Thanks to Mutt, he could already imagine how stressful _that_ would be if it came to that.

In the middle of their third loop around the block, Sav was starting to get awfully familiar with the buildings, but his attention began to lapse and his shoe caught on a crack in the sidewalk, causing him to trip and stumble forward, landing hard on his hands. "Shit!" The high pitched cry next to him meant he'd taken Lacey with him to the concrete. Luckily for her, she didn't fall over like he had.

Lacey braced and grunted as she helped Sav get back on his feet. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Sav answered, shaking his hands. "That stung."

Lacey gently turned Sav's palms over in a nearby camera's floodlight as the director yelled cut. "They don't seem to be bleeding, so that's good." She turned to the director. "Do we need to do anymore walking right now, Jack?"

"Nah, take five."

"Okay good, I need to get out of these heels. Ow!"

"There's a bench. Let's go sit down."

\----------

Scenes with the entire band proved to quickly and continually derail as they failed to stick to the script. So much so that the director gave up and told the script supervisor to just let them ad lib said scenes. The script supervisor had to agree; the band had a certain chemistry that just couldn't be recreated on paper. Still, she left in notations for full band scenes that the lines in the bracketed area should serve as a loose guideline for what they should say once action was called.

Currently, the band plus Lacey were sitting at a large table on the stage with most of the band ragging on Joe for not scoring the aforementioned woman -- funny, given that they had actually dated in the past. She had to hand it to her, she could at least keep up with the rapid fire quips the band threw around. She supposed that her prior relationship with Joe helped facilitate that.

"I see this is going to be a very interesting evening," Joe said, smiling at his onscreen rival.

"Only if you want it to be, Mr Elliott," Lacey fired back, smiling in return.

"Stop calling me that."

"And what would you like me to call you, hmm?"

"Blow me."

Without missing a beat, Lacey responded, "You want it here or back at the hotel?"

The entire band, as well as the crew, then erupted into laughter. "That woman's a pistol," a wheezing technician said. The laughter continued for so long that the director had to cut the take short so everyone could sort themselves out.

"I work with children."

\----------

"Maybe we should extend the tour."

"Why?"

"Look out, studio, here we come."

Joe laughed. "That's still months away. Not to mention we haven't done written-- any writing-- goddammit, can I stop fucking up my lines for once?"

\----------

There was a knock at the door, and Joe got up to answer it. "It's about time. Thought she would never get here."

"She who?" Sav asked.

"Your blowjob extraordinaire," Joe answered over his shoulder, causing Sav to groan and facepalm. He opened the door, expecting to see Lacey as was scripted, but in her place was a man about their age bearing a stack of pastry boxes.

"I'm sorry," he said, smiling innocently, "were you expecting someone else?"

Joe's face lit up at the familiar and welcome face. "Nick!"

"What!?" Sav got up as the crew started laughing. Upon seeing Nick, he smiled and went over to hug him. "Hey, mate!" He looked over at the director. "Was this your idea?"

"Maybe."

"I got in a little early, so I figured I'd surprise you during shooting," Nick said.

Sav gestured to the boxes. "Nothing quite beats an old friend bearing Krispy Kreme. Let's bust these open and go over the script, eh?"

"Lead the way."

\----------

"Any ideas about what the music will sound like on the next album?"

Sav looked around the car's interior, trying not to glare at the blue screen beyond the windows. "Album, where did that come from?"

"Just steering the conversation in a different direction," Lacey responded, moving the steering wheel, despite the fact that the car was stationary.

"We weren't finished with that one."

Lacey glanced over. "It'll all be clear to you before the night is over."

"So in other words, don't ask any more questions about it."

"Exactly."

Sav put on his best pout. "So, I don't get that big red ribbon?"

"No more que--" Lacey began before wheezing in laughter, unable to stop a similar and rather humourous memory from years past with Joe from coming up. "Damn."


	3. I'm Right Here, Asshole!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe's feeling the stress of having to pretend that Sav was missing. Good thing the man in question is there to remind him that it's a TV show and not reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gags from chapters 6 and 7

Joe had lost count of how many times he'd slammed the phone down. Take after take, Joe just wanted to be done with this scene, and the longer shooting for the day dragged on, the more agitated he had become. While he knew Sav was perfectly fine -- he and Nick were sitting next to the script supervisor, in fact -- and that he had no real reason to worry, having to put himself in the mindset of a frantic man trying to find his missing best friend hit a little too close to home. Joe did not ever want to think about the possibility that something like this could actually happen. If he were being honest, he didn't know what he would do if Sav was gone.

He was about to ask the director for a break when Vivian spoke. "Did it help?"

"What?"

"Slamming the phone down. Did it help?"

"No," Joe said shortly, going over to the window and opening the curtains.

Vivian sat down in the chair next to Joe. "Anything I can do?"

Joe's very real frustration bled into his line. "Yeah, tell me where Sav is."

Off set, Sav cupped his hands around his face, calling out. "I'm right here, asshole!"

The absurdity of Sav's interruption caused him to start chuckling as he half turned to where Sav sat. "Shut up! You're supposed to be missing!" Sav only laughed in response, but Joe knew why he interrupted and thus ruined the take. Being best friends as long as they have, Sav knew when Joe was getting upset and what to do to try and bring him back to earth.

He briefly caught Sav's eye as he and Vivian got back into position for yet another take. _Sav's fine. He's fine. He's not going anywhere... You can make it through one more take, Joe. You can do this._

"Action!"

\----------

"Who was the last person to see Mr Savage?" Nick asked as he placed the cards in an evidence bag.

"I was," Joe answered, "right here in this room."

Phil gestured to the cards. "What you going to do with those?"

"Send them down to be dusted for fingerprints," Lynda responded.

"Exorcise them while you're at it," Joe quipped. "A serial killer wrote those."

Several people started to laugh. Nick shook his head and snickered. "Fill me in on the joke during lunch."

"Will do."

\----------

_> Take 4_

"Sav is a very likeable person. Some of the fans can get crowdy, rowding us-- wait."

_> Take 9_

"Sav is a likeable-- ugh, _very._ Why can I not do this anymore?"

_> Take 12_

"Sav is a very likeable person. Some of the fans can get rowdy, crowding us, pulling clothes and such. But we have no idea- why he's making faces at us."

"Tosser!"

\----------

Nick and Lynda walked off the stage, their part in the scene over. Phil looked over at Joe. "Is there something you're not telling us, Joe?"

"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer," Joe spat.

"They think you did something," Vivian said.

Joe tried to sound as angry as possible. "Let them think what they want!" he yelled. "All I know is that Sav walked out that door and--"

Before Joe could say another word, both Nick and Sav walked onto the stage, armed with Super Soakers, and began to spray the rest of the band down with water. Everyone cried out, trying and failing to get away from the streams coming down on them. "Ease up! Ease up!" Rick yelled, laughing as he tried to block the water with his only hand.

The director rubbed his temples at the spectacle before him. "So it begins."

\----------

"You have to understand, Mr Elliott," Nick said, keeping a tight grip on Joe's arm. "This may be a murder investigation now."

"And I'm top of--" Joe blew a raspberry, causing Nick to let go of his arm and laugh.

"Try again, guys."

\----------

"You seem to know quite a bit about him, Mr Elliott," Nick said, the line a comment on Joe's prior line that he knows of everything Sav owns.

Joe opened his mouth to speak his line, but found himself drawing a blank. Instead of calling for his line, he decided to ramble off the first thing that came to his head. "We've all lived out of each other's pockets for the past eighteen years, lived together, worked together, can finish each other's sentences. Even slept in the same bed, when we couldn't afford two rooms! I guess you can say that I know these guys pretty damn good!"

Silence stretched after Joe finished speaking, broken a moment later when Phil whistled. "You need to rant like that on camera more often."

Joe huffed a little. "I guess so."

Off set, Sav leaned over towards the director. "Keep it," he whispered.

\----------

_> Take 1_

"Knowing Joe, he hasn't moved. I've always shown up for the plane ride... No, the bus is first, not the plane."

_> Take 5_

"Knowing Joe, he hasn't moved. I've always... fuck. Line!"

_> Take 10_

"Knowing Joe, he hasn't b-- booved? What am I saying?"

"What'd you do?"

"I just tried to say 'budged' and 'moved' at the same time," Sav laughed.

\----------

Sav leaned back against the elevator wall. It was quite cramped inside with him, Lacey, and two cameramen. It wasn't that he was claustrophobic -- climbing into laundry baskets once upon several moons ago proved that. Maybe it was because of the cameras right in his face. Either way, the director wanted to try and film this part in an actual elevator. If it didn't work, they'd build a new set or repurpose an existing one.

"I wasn't expecting that," he said, trying not to look at the cameras.

Lacey smiled, encouraging. "You handled it very well. I think you passed that test with flying colours. You can stay in control around them."

"Yeah, I guess so, you're right," he answered. "I didn't feel the first twinge of wanting to take their wa--" A smile cracked out. "Fuck, I can't say this with a straight face."

\----------

'THE BIG RETURN' is what was written in the margins of the script. Joe initially thought it seemed anticlimactic on paper, but now seeing Sav in the prop doorway as if he hadn't gone anywhere, the stress from shooting the past few episodes on top if it all, Sav's on-screen reunion with the band was living up to the supervisor's note in his head. He went over to his best mate of eighteen years, bear hugging him for all he was worth.

"Everyone thought you were dead," Joe muttered, trying to keep his voice from cracking.

Sav croaked out, "You're choking me, Joe."

"Sorry, mate."

When Joe didn't give any indication of letting go, Sav looked over at the director and made a 'cut' motion. Once the director acquiesced, Sav sighed and ran his hand across Joe's back, knowing he was trying to hold back sobs. "I know, mate. These scenes blow. Hey." He pulled Joe off, looking into his welling eyes. "I'm not going anywhere. You couldn't _drag_ me away. Okay?"

Joe sniffed and nodded. "Okay."

"Donuts?"

"Please."


End file.
